11. If you’re one of 30 million homosexuals in the US, then you have to stay single because BUSH HATES YOU!

10. If you support Thomas Jefferson’s recomendation to keep religion and government separate, BUSH HATES YOU!

8. A study has confirmed that most Bush voters are psycho, so if you aren’t nuts BUSH HATES YOU!

7. Maybe your son is fighting in Iraq and you want him home? BUSH HATES YOU!

6. If you’re homeless because of a natural disaster, watch out for the next Katrina because BUSH HATES YOU!

4. If you want to improve the safety of steel skyscrapers by investigating the only three that ever collapsed due to fire, BUSH HATES YOU!

3. If you’re a scientist who won’t falsify global warming data, BUSH HATES YOU!

Last, but not least…

1. If you want all the votes to be counted, count on this:

9. Faulty memo suggested “Pleezi kwit bashin-mee!” was Arabic for “I want to dance in the nude while camouflaged rednecks pelt me with feces.”

8. Wanted to create hell down there so we don’t have to create hell here.

7. After much debate over the ethics of condoning torture, his Magic 8 Ball said, “Signs point to YES!”

6. Signed the authorization while distracted by erotic text messages from Congressman Mark Foley.

5. Drew the line at waterboarding, but Rumsfeld convinced him to change his mind by saying, “Come on, it’ll be fun!”

4. Was determined to make terrorists admit they hate our freedom, no matter how many toenails he had to pull.

3. Initially refused, but after Cheney took down both WTC towers and fired a missile into the Pentagon, Dubya said torture was okay by him.

2. Gave detainees choice of listening to Rush Limbaugh show, but most preferred an hour on the 240-volt sleepless mattress.

9. Earned an education degree from Cheyney State College (1964).

8. Taught 6th grade for three and a half years in Philadelphia.

9. Part of brilliant plan to battle Global Warming with Nuclear Winter.

8. Oops…thought nuclear cookbook was recipe for Atomic Fireball jawbreaker candy.

7. Wants to prove that cockroaches can really survive a nuclear holocaust.

6. Karl Rove said do it. Don’t question Turd Blossom.

5. Just giving The Rapture a little jump-start.

4. Depleted uranium weapons not destroying the human species fast enough.

3. Seeing if he can top “Leak the Identity of a CIA Agent” on the Treason-o-Meter.

2. Despite its name, thought the World Wide Web was only available inside the Pentagon.

And the number one reason the President posted a nuclear bomb cookbook online…

1. He wants to ensure his administration goes out with a BANG!