An anonymous friend — I’ll call her Sasha — whose job environment is in the midst of a right-winger hotbed, emailed to ask:

What do you think this means?
“As we wait for the tax zombie apocalypse…”

Dear Sasha:
First, I think the “tax zombie apocalypse” phrase you overheard refers to an event that would exhibit most of the traits of a generic zombie apocalypse. That event would entail a widespread rise of zombies who engage in a general assault on civilization.

With the adjective “tax” prepended by a right-winger, I’d modify that description as follows: ironically, the zombies would be any persons who do not listen to Rush Limbaugh (I say ironically, because 99.9% of the global population consider Rush Limbaugh fans to be the real zombie threat.) I’m also guessing the adjective “tax” implies that the apocalyptic fall of civilization would occur because President Obama is raising our taxes higher and higher.

Right-Wingers Don’t Like Mirrors

Of course, President Obama is NOT raising our taxes, but lowering them for 95% of Americans. But fascist right-wing Republicans have never let facts interfere with their paranoid delusions. They prefer to cling to erroneous beliefs in the face of evidence to the contrary, such as their belief that BushCo had to invade Iraq so that Saddam (who had nothing to do with al Qaeda) wouldn’t cropdust U.S. cities with anthrax.

In addition, the phrase “tax zombie appocalypse” is most likely to be used by racist hypocrites to distract themselves from the self-realization that they are, indeed, prejudiced intolerant phonies.

But that’s just my opinion :-)

Thanks for the question, Sasha, and let’s see if the fascist right-wingers who suddenly like to criticize their president while the country is still at war can follow the advice they touted under the BushCo regime: If you don’t like America, go find another country to live in! :-)

BREAKING NEWS!!! LIVE NOW…

Health officials in Harrisonburg, Virginia are reporting a new and unprecedented outbreak of varicella zoster virus.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), varicella zoster is a disfiguring, highly contagious pathogen. The virus historically attacks young healthy children.

White House: Virus Unstoppable

An anonymous White House staffer admitted early Friday that the number of cases in Harrisonburg is jumping, but cautioned that there is no need to panic. “We do expect additional cases to emerge. There’s really no stopping it unless everybody holds their breath for a month.”

The varicella zoster virus occurs in gorillas and chimpanzees. “This particular outbreak, however, is exhibiting sustained human to human transmission.”

An anonymous person who answered the phone at Atlanta’s Center for Disease Control (CDC) said: “Varicella zoster is often referred to as ‘chicken pox’ but the virus is not transmitted by chickens, nor by eating chickens. Egypt should not kill and burn all their chickens.” Still, the CDC discourages eating raw chicken meat. “You pluck it, and you should cook it, just to be safe.”

Virus May Have Originated in Mexico

Local Harrisonburg residents speculate that the outbreak of varicella roster originated in Mexico. “The first two children to get sick ate at Taco Bell last week.”

WHO officials could not confirm the Mexican link: “We have no evidence to support that theory. The virus may have very well entered the country transmitted by illegal Mexican aliens. If that turns out to be the case, shutting down the border would have prevented this outbreak.”

Obama Administration Blamed

Former Vice President Dick Cheney said Friday morning that the Obama administration “should have already moved swiftly to close our Mexican border.”

Cheney said he believes leaving the border wide open has made Americans less safe. “Make no mistake, every American will get this pox. Obama’s decision is, quite literally, a pox on America.”

The former VP also claimed that “technically, Obama was born in Mexico,” and that “we know Iran has already put a man on the moon.”