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Atlas Shrugged

Saturday, March 28th, 2009

Atlas ShruggedAs mentioned last post, it’s been crunch time at work, and this morning, for the first time in a over a week, I plowed through the non-work email inbox, and found a warm and friendly, if concerned, note from PunditMan (to the tune of Hendrix):

Hey Joe,

Where you going with that book in your hand?

His was a reference to a recent reference of my own, namely a confession to reading that oft critically panned but ever popular classic, that grand expansive endorsement of completely unregulated capitalism, that deluxe affirmation of self-interest as best for everybody concerned and, like Gordon GekkoGordon Gekko told us (just before the savings and loan debacle tabbed US taxpayers for $32 billion a year for the next 30 years): “Greed is good!” — yes, that of which I speak is Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged.

Check out Punditman’s own review of Atlas Shrugged.

Fact is, a good portion of my non-work spare time has been with my nose stuck in Ayn Rand’s book…

I first heard about Atlas Shrugged years ago after taking one of those Carl Jung inspired Myers-Brigg personality type tests, found out I was an INTJ, and then — as if to validate my diagnosis as introspective — I delved into about every site that tries to explicate what the hell an INTJ looks and feels like so I would know what I was supposed to look and feel like. Most of those sites mentioned Ayn Rand, and strongly suggested I would like her writing, Atlas Shrugged being her magnum opus. But I kept putting it off because all of the reviews and spin virtually tagged the novel as the darling favorite of the most sorry type of human — you know, like self-entitled AIG execs, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity — that sorry sort of coddled smug little jerk.

All dodging aside, after hearing one of my dad’s friends remark that it was his favorite book (even though my folks and their friends live in Tupelo, Mississippi, where the trees sprout leaves imprinted with Clinton jokes, where the very wind bashes Obama…), curiosity got the best of me. I succumbed to what every marketing guru and every CIA-employed propagandist worth their salt knows as the The Rule of Seven: a subject needs to see or hear your marketing message at least seven times before they take action. (not coincidentally, a sky-high proportion of Americans who watched seven or more Sunday morning TV talk show appearances from Dick CheneyDick Cheney/Condoleezza Rice/George W. Bush are still convinced that Saddam Hussein helped al-Qaeda plan the September 11, 2001 attacks and was on the verge of crop dusting US cities with anthrax, despite zero tangible evidence.) So, the next time I was browsing Barnes and Noble, I picked up the book.

Now I’m hooked. But not on Rand’s Objectivism philosophy. As far as Objectivism goes, I disagree with her belief that reality exists as an objective absolute independent of the thoughts of men, and I disagree based on the findings of eminent physicists like the late John Archibald Wheeler who provided hard scientific proof that human consciousness shapes not only the present but the past as well. In other words, the universe doesn’t, in fact, exist if nobody is looking.

I also disagree with Rand’s penchant for total separation of government and the economy.

In my opinion, the defect in her argument is her irrational (Rand irrational?!) belief that we should all have the same desires and morals and abilities if we’d only apply ourselves. But this is America, and I believe everybody is free to pursue happiness in whatever way makes them happiest — whether it’s running a billion-dollar hedge fund or spending forty hours a week cultivating a window garden or gambling — as long as their pursuit doesn’t exceedingly infringe on the pursuits of happiness by others. And ever since the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act of 1999 deregulated insurance companies and banks, it’s clear some CEOs’ ideas of pursuing happiness — namely choking on bad debt, asking for no-strings-attached taxpayer-funded corporate welfare, and then blowing their welfare payments on hookers, fast cars, and all-expense-be-damned pleasure excursions — do infringe mightily on the pursuits of happiness by other Americans.

As further witnessed by any number of economic crises from the Great Depression to the S&L Crisis to Japan’s Lost Decade (evidence of what happens when the government doesn’t get involved with rescuing the economy…), pure capitalism can be as evil as pure socialism.

Joseph McCarthyI mean, let’s get real: those who argue for pure capitalism would support sending their senile parent, incapacitated spouse, and/or their children to the street in the event of their own hard-up demise, and history shows no matter how hard you work, everybody is one well-directed backhanded swipe of fate from a penniless end. So, don’t get all righteous and McCarthyistic on me when I say I’m in favor of a government that walks a fine-tuned line balanced between complete capitalism and complete socialism. And please forgive me for being harsh with the truth, but if you can’t understand the need for balance, then you’re an idiot, and that’s the reason the founding fathers created a constitutional republic for us instead of a true democracy, to have built-in protection from idiots like yourself :-) who might otherwise destroy the USA with good, however imbecilic, intentions.

But back to Rand’s novel…the story, the journey, the tale — that’s what has me hooked. For a 1000-page supposedly right-wing philosophical manifesto, there’s a lot more plot turns and twists than I’d expected, and I’m just really digging the slightly-but-not-quite-out-of-style 1950’s phraseology — there’s a captivating old-school quasi sci-fi noir feel to the whole business that’s ironically refreshing and striking primarily because that style of stodgy writing is rare these days.

Edward HopperMaybe most appealing of all, Rand paints a pretty picture around the plot. Reading Atlas Shrugged so far (I’m about a third of the way into it) is like walking through the attractively stark world of Edward Hopper, filled with our parents’ and grandparents’ gas stations, motels, restaurants, theaters, railroads, and city sidewalks, where people wore hats and suits to work, talked like Bogart and Bacall, and shared a smoke in the cafe after dinner.

Also, as witnessed by the recent propensity of Atlas Shrugged to jump off bookstore shelves, the novel is filled to the brim with mostly inversely apropos — but timely nevertheless — themes and situations. But I have another theory why it’s popular: like the black-and-white era it hails from, there are few gray areas in this story. In today’s world, where nearly every debate seems filled with more gray areas than black or white, a simplistic world like the one in Atlas Shrugged is a refreshing escape from our current convoluted state of affairs. And that’s a big reason people read books: escapist entertainment. On that front, Atlas Shrugged delivers.

So, have no fear; just because I’m enjoying Atlas Shrugged, I’ve not gone to the dark side anymore than I endorse the real-life mafia while savoring Don Vito Corleone’s every word and gesture each time I watch The Godfather. I’m just enjoying a good read with larger-than-life characters. I mean, it’s fun to root for imaginary elitist bourgeois industrialists, like it’s fun to pull for renegade cops like Harry Callahan; you just wouldn’t want to see these characters running around in the real hard-boiled world.

Fifty Random Things

Monday, March 16th, 2009

Between work overtime, income taxes, pinewood derbies, and finally getting around to reading Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, I’ve neglected Hard-boiled Dreams more than usual the past couple of weeks. And I don’t know if it’s sunspots or what, but lately something has dialed up the attraction between the magnet in the couch and the lead in my arse. And even when I started to blog a couple of nights ago, I got sidetracked in awestruck wonder watching Jon Stewart relentlessly smack down Jim Cramer. And then Dick Cheney crawled out from under his rock again. I started to blog about Dick, but now he’s just boring with his psychotic delusional twisted in-the-minority racist hateful and fearful scaredy-cat grinch-hearted demeanor now that he’s a powerless bitter old man who even Bush started snubbing before leaving office.

And then I checked Facebook, and I was tagged with the Fifty Random Things meme. What a time sink, that Facebook! What a maddeningly addictive waste! I couldn’t help myself…

So, if you’re up for it, consider yourself tagged…just copy, paste, fill in your own answers, post to your own blog. It’s an extraordinary waste of your time and as well as the time of everybody that reads it, but by golly, it’s the meaningless sort of thing we little folk will fondly remember doing during the biggest-since depression while the bankers were pulling down tax-funded bonuses and jumping out their windows.

On with the list:

1.You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station: Beef Jerky, boiled peanuts if they have them, and a Coke or coffee or water depending on how thirsty and early it is.

2. If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be? Dolphin.

3. Who’s your favorite redhead? Dana Scully.

4. What do you order at IHOP? I try not to.

5. Last book you read? The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America, by Erik Larson. True tale of the architects behind the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair and the mass murderer who preyed upon young lonely women who attended.

6. Describe your mood: I’m Euphoric…the world is coming at me in high-definition 3D, in surround sound. The yapping clawing dog outside my living room door looks and sounds like he’s really right in front of me…it’s amazing…I could sit here and marvel at how lifelike he looks for hours…yapping…and clawing…hey! He even looks like he’s getting more pissed the longer I watch. I love reality entertainment!

7. Describe the last time you were injured? The last thing that left a scar was about five years ago…half-awake, walking out of a gas station about 7 AM, and pushed the door open pretty hard…it hit the stop and rebounded quicker than I was expecting and the edge laid open my right forehead right at the brow. Not bad enough for a butterfly bandage, but I used up a box of tissues on the drive to work.

8. Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with? My son William. Frickin’ little teenage engineer genius would know how to get out.

9. Rock concert or symphony? Symphony these days — less obnoxiously arrogant teens to tolerate.

10. What is the wallpaper of your cell phone? wallpaper…as if. I. Even. Notice. Something as superficial as wallpaper.

11. Favorite Soda? Coke. Regular. No Alzheimer-causing, appetite-inducing, cancerous artificial sweeteners; just good ol’ genetically modified corn syrup for me!

12. What type of shirt are you wearing? maroon Mississippi State polo…you know, the same color of maroon worn by the 2009 SEC Basketball Champions! Give me more cowbell!!!

13. If you could only use one form of transportation: supersonic Joe-powered human flight without a cape (as long as the questions get to plumb hypothetical possibilities, so do the answers…)

14. Most recent movie you have watched in theatres? Gran Torino.

15. Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for: Oscar-winning Louise Fletcher, but only when she’s in her nurse outfit. I mean, no red-blooded male can watch One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and not secretly hope Louise Fletcher comes through the screen and sits right next to him, and maybe force feeds him some horse-sized anti-psychotic pills. I don’t care if he was acting or not; when Ms. Fletcher escorts Jack Nicholson to his electro-shock therapy, you can tell he is absolutely enjoying every second of it.

16. Whats your favorite kind of cake? A quarter bake sheet of 4-inch-thick, $1400 per oz, pure rhodium.

17. What did you have for dinner last night? 1 can of pinto beans mixed with 1 can of Campbell’s vegetable soup, extra salt and pepper, microwave 4 minutes. Mmmm. MMMMMM. GOOOD!

18. Look to your left, what do you see? My earbuds, sitting on top of an Ipod mini sitting on top of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, sitting on the arm of the couch sitting on the floor on the earth sitting on…sweet Jeezus…we’re…it’s…all falling through space!!!

19. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No…but sometimes if they’re too tight I untie my shoes before I put them on.

20. Favorite toy as a child? Two actually…that was back in the 1970s when Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld were in Gerald Ford’s cabinet, and one summer Hasbro sold these little Cheney and Rummy action figures, and I would shoot fireworks at them and when they got all hot and melty then GI-Joe would run over them in the Action Team jeep, and right before Mom called me in for supper, I’d use Dad’s claw hammer to beat them flat as a pancake…Ahhh, for those carefree days of childhood, loved playing with Cheney and Rumsfeld.

21. Do you buy your own groceries? no, some bum-looking guy pushing a derelict shopping cart always shows up at Target every week and puts them on his MasterCard…I keep forgetting to ask his name…

22. Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Mmm…no. I tend not to be that memorable.

23. Whens the last time you had gummy worms? Whenever one of the kids had ‘em…last Xmas vacation driving to my parents’ maybe?

24. Whats your favorite fruit? California Cutie, you know…the seedless sweet clementines produced by Sun Pacific.

25. Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel? I do now. A mental picture. I will always treasure it.

26. Do you like running long distances? Not when I have to pee, or my shoes don’t fit, or when there’s no water and a lot of sand dunes and the sun is directly overhead and the apes are chasing me and I just realized the planet I’m on is really earth but only a couple thousand years in the future…but other than that…naaaa, I still don’t really like it.

27. Have you ever eaten snow? Only the white brand.

28. What color are your bedsheets? When the lights are out, no reflected light, physically they have no color.

29. Whats your favorite flower? A non-purchased flower.

30. Do you do ballet? “do” it? Like throw bricks at it?

31. Do you listen to classical music? Yes, but not exclusively.

32. What is the 1st TV Theme song that pops in your head? Mary Tyler Moore theme, actually the Joan Jett remake version, but, you know…it’s time you started living, time to let someone else do some giving…hold the phone, I have a strong urge to throw my toboggan.

33. Do you watch Sponge bob? not regularly…not by a long shot. It’s right below Gilligan’s Island for me…I don’t hate it, just tolerate it, because everybody else seems to like it, but it’s just a tad annoying to me…I’m more of a Bugs Bunny fan, and Daffy Duck is on the edge of my tolerance for Loud and Whiney Schtick…I mean, if you’re going to pull off fart jokes these days you have to offer something drastically new and highly original in a fart joke, and to me Sponge Bob is at least a third recycled fart jokes, just done underwater. The Hasselhoff bit in the theatrical release was pretty funny though.

34. What temperature is it outside right now? 52. Degrees, not Celsius. When I was in sixth grade there was a big push to go metric with every other industrialized nation. As a country, Americans showed the world we’re only smart enough to learn metric if you fill it with 2 liters of Coca-cola.

35. Do people consider you smart? The smartest ones do.

36. How many piercings do you have? Nada.

37. Are you signed on AIM? Nada.

38. Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together? Elmers, no superglue.

39. How do you feel about your family? Just right.

40. Do you have an iPod? Yep.

41. What time do you go to bed? Between 10:30 and midnight.

42. What CD is currently in your CD player? what’s a CD player…I have an audio book in the one in the car…The White Tiger, a novel.

43. What movie do you know every line to? Groundhog Day. Seriously. I memorized the script during a single day last February that seemed to keep on repeating, and repeating, and repeating…love that movie!

44. What is your favorite salad dressing? Frankly, my dear, I’ve never seen a salad dress, but I have seen a catfish. Yuk yuk yuk!

46. What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Family - Dee in Austin; friend - Simon in Mozambique.

47. Do you like hugs? Awwwww…Sure. If I said no, I’d look like Hitler or something, now wouldn’t I?

48. Last time you had butterflies in your stomach? Nope, never ate any.

49. Whats the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name? Sometimes they call me: “Hey you #$%@ $%3@!” Not sure how they get so many syllables out of “JOE” unless it’s an abbreviation for something in another language.

50. Last person you hugged? Myself. Just now. Oh, alright…I hugged Jodi today.

Wingsuit Base Jumping

Friday, March 6th, 2009

I’m guessing the long-term survival rate in the sport of extreme wingsuit base jumping is pretty low.

Exhibit A: Pioneering Michigan-born birdman Clem Sohn (1910 - 1937). As the old saying goes, it wasn’t the fall that killed him; hitting the ground did.

Exhibit B: French birdman Leo Valentin (1919 - 1956), whose death was also the result of wardrobe malfunction (if one considers functional primary and reserve chutes essential apparel.)

That being said, watching these modern wingsuit flyers skim the cliffs of Norway at freefall speeds exceeding 100 mph is beautifuller than bowling, more excitingful than golf, and a heckuva lot zippier than watching baseball with a beerless fridge.

Zoom zoom, indeed!

One final note: it’s well worth your while to watch this video full screen.


wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

Tip of the hat to stunt pilot Paul Johnson for forwarding the video.

3D Street Art at The Festival of World Culture

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

Last August, Edgar Mueller continued his series of large-scale 3D street paintings at The Festival of World Cultures in Dun Laoghaire, Ireland. This video documents the transformation of the city’s East Pier into a dramatic ice age scene.

Click link: The Crevasse - Making of 3D Street Art.
Or, watch embedded below: