Adoption Backlash
Lately, there’s been a backlash against adoption in the media. Maybe people are just tired of the media saturating their news with too many details about celebrity adoptions by the likes of Madonna and Guy Ritchie, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Meg Ryan, Rosie O’Donnell, Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw, and the list goes on…there are tons of famous adoptive parents most people don’t even know about.
With the increase of international and interracial adoptions, maybe the backlash also has a bit to do with prejudice, xenophobia, and a fear of cultural genocide. Or maybe, as always, bad news leads and the adoptions clouded by corruption are more fun to report on than the hundreds of thousands of legal and ethical adoptions that turn out well.
And maybe it has to do with fear of change. Many people still believe the myth that a parent-child bond can only be formed between a child and their biological parent. They believe that adoptive parents and their adopted children can’t overcome dissimilar DNA. They believe that a child should only be raised by their biological mother, period, and that otherwise, children are doomed to emotionally chaotic and unfulfilling lives.
Let me just put that last myth to rest. While many people, myself included, have had a great experience being raised by their biological parents, many children would be better off if they had been adopted. For instance, the cases of more than 200 women in the United States who kill their children each year. Those children would probably have been better off if they were adopted.
Adoption Statistics
Here are some more sobering statistics from Adoption - A Family by Choice:
- Every 15 SECONDS, another child becomes an AIDS orphan in Africa
- Every DAY 5,760 more children become orphans
- Every YEAR 2,102,400 more children become orphans (in Africa alone)
- 143,000,000 Orphans in the world today spend an average of 10 years in an orphanage or foster home
- Approximately 250,000 children are adopted annually, but…
- Every YEAR 14,050,000 children still grow up as orphans and AGE OUT of the system
- Every DAY 38,493 children AGE OUT (never know a mother and a father)
- Every 2.2 SECONDS, another orphan child AGES OUT with no family to belong to and no place to call home
- In Ukraine and Russia 10% -15% of children who age out of an orphanage commit suicide before age 18.
- 60% of the girls are lured into prostitution. 70% of the boys become hardened criminals.
- Many of these children accept job offers that ultimately result in their being sold as slaves. Millions of girls are sex slaves today, simply because they were unfortunate enough to grow up as orphans.
So, don’t knock adoption too hard, because there are parents out there who desperately want a child, and there are children out there who desperately want a parent. And in the majority of cases, there’s nothing wrong with bringing them together and making happy lives.
Read More: adoption, orphans in africa, cultural genocide, adoption statistics, adoptive parents, biological parents
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June 24th, 2008 at 7:27 am
More stimulating than river rafting, more meditative than a fire in a fireplace, deeper than the library of congress, more loveable than a puppy.
For years I didn’t cut parents who gave away their kids much slack, believing that such miracles could surely heal anyones life and they were just taking the easy way out.
Then I realized that kind of thinking was a distraction to the real issue.
I think science now universally accepts that institutionally raised children is near the bottom of desireable options.
Sure, a DNA match for compatibles is nice, but we seem to do a pretty good job with good friends, some in-laws ;-), co-workers and some marital partners.
To me, the most important point is that kids want someone to love and it is easy to love a child. I would think “love” makes the experience much easier and successful.
Three cheers for those with courage and big hearts.
June 24th, 2008 at 9:22 am
BRAVO BROTHER!!! Or should I say “sweetie”!!!
June 24th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
How about a little backlash against biological parents who beat and harm their kids, instead of people who are looking for someone to love and nurture.
June 24th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I think Xman nailed it…you can’t legislate love, but love makes all the difference, and with love about any sort of arrangement can be made to work better for all involved.
June 25th, 2008 at 7:40 am
Hi,
I read with interest your story…very interesting and valuable.
I am originally from Romania, and have just finished a 4 year project…please check out my adoption educational materials, and feel free to comment and make suggestions.
You can certainly embed the links and recommend my work if you would like to…
Helping the orphans find permanent loving homes is a very important charitable activity!
If you would like to organize an international adoption seminar in your area, I would be more than glad to come to your area to do a full presentation on the topic!
With good wishes,
David Livianu, NYC,
david@livianu.org
www.globaladoptions.org
Google Books
http://base.google.com/base/s2?authorid=3960054&hl=en&gl=US
YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=globaladoptions&search_type=&aq=f
June 25th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
I think part of the backlash is due to celebrities who seem to be buying children in a new form of conspicuous consumption. I doubt much of the backlash is against adoption as it is generally practiced by ordinary people.
June 26th, 2008 at 7:29 am
I guess I am a bit naive, but I do not have the perception that celebreties are buying their babies.
June 26th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
You know, I’ve got a little experience with cattle raising. With a little practice you are able to identify the mother cows who really do a good job of “mothering”. Those mother cows, we keep to raise more calves. The mother cows who don’t seem to care one way or another (wander away from their calves, don’t protect them, don’t clean them, etc.) we sell at the auction as soon as we can. Like some of the posters mentioned here, sharing the same DNA with ones human children may not always prove good motherhood either. I’ve seen small children adopt a dog or cat and then as soon as the “honeymoon” is over, the animals almost fends for itself. I’ve seen horses in small corrals standing in ankle deep “mud”, all their ribs showing, dull coat, heads always hanging down.
In many cases, reality sucks.