Top 10 Surprises in Scott McClellan’s Book

Scott McClellan bookTo say that former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan’s new book, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception, drops a few bombshells on George W. Bush is like saying — well, it’s like saying Hitler’s Luftwaffe dropped a few bombshells on Rotterdam.

McClellan’s harsh exposure of the Bush administration and his disclosures about the world at large keep coming, and coming, and coming, often as many as three and four shocking revelations per page. It took an editorial feat worthy of Edward Scissorhands to trim McClellan’s sensational tidbits to a mere list of ten. But I did, and here they are…

Top 10 Suprises in Scott McClellan’s Book

10. George W. Bush lied America into a war with Iraq.

9. The Earth is not flat. It’s round, like Charlie Brown’s head. Even more surprising, the Earth actually travels around the sun!

8. Paris Hilton is not a virgin.

7. Karl Rove is more crooked than most other traitors can even imagine.

6. Only one country in the Middle East has nuclear weapons, and they won’t sign the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty.

5. Halliburton is managed by war profiteers and that includes Dick Cheney.

4. On 9/11 the 47-story WTC7 skyscraper was demolished without being hit by a plane.

3. One and one and one is three.

2. The personal sexual fantasy that Lindsey Lohan would be most embarrassed to have divulged is…uh, give me a break. You think Scott McClellan has this information?

And the number one surprise in Scott McClellan’s book…

1. President Bush has always really, really, really liked oil.

[tags]Scott McClellan, George W. Bush, Iraq War, Karl Rove, WMD, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, Halliburton, Dick Cheney[/tags]

This entry was posted in Politics, Satire, Top 10 Lists. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Top 10 Surprises in Scott McClellan’s Book

  1. pelmo says:

    He reminds me of the person the teacher left behind to snitch on the class whenever they left the room. No balls to tell it when it was happening, but now for the almighty dollar everything is fair game. Shows what type of people are in Washington, and we wonder why all the problems. No integrity left in that town.

    Tell me you are just joking about Paris not being a virgin.

  2. JoeC says:

    Welcome back to this side of the big pond, Pelmo! Yeah, seems like Scott and a lot of these other people in Washington are missing the point: it’s their duty as citizens to uphold the Constitution and our country, and if that means not going along with a renegade administration, grow some balls and just say no. Instead, Scott’s learned well from the administration…do your dirty deeds and then blame it on somebody else and beg forgiveness later, then repeat ad nauseam.

  3. Brent says:

    You sure that “Dick Cheney Is a Bad Hunting Partner” isn’t in the Top 10?

  4. ClapSo says:

    I wish dick had taken gdubya hunting…

    Paris was a virgin, till she met me ;P

    The whole damn bunch down in washingtOOn, Both parties of the apocalypse are a bunch of crooks

    The scientifically impossible I do right away
    The spiritually miraculous takes a bit longer

  5. JoeC says:

    Brent, that should have definitely been included about Dick Cheney! Hahaha.

    Clapso, I heard something about you being in Paris’ naughty tape that went around, but I passed and watched Alex Jones’ TerrorStorm instead, so didn’t know if it was true or not ;-)

  6. Dusty says:

    Joe, a delightful read this Sat morning. ;)

    There of course, really are no revelations, its all shit most of us know that pay attention, so Scotty-boy will get his 15 min of fame and pray to all that is holy that folks are dumb enough to go out and buy his book. He is afterall, in need of funds to feed his family and buy some more shitty looking suits.

    He clears his conscience…yeah right.. but if he really wanted to fix it, he would tell the Congress critters something that could be used to sink BushCo’s battleship and put them all on trial for high crimes and misdemeanors.

    Like Tenet before him…he is culpable as hell…its a case of CYA with a monetary value attached.

  7. Xman says:

    I feel a lot of these guys who are “coming clean”, are really just on a mission to relieve a pressure build up, so there won’t be much urgency to indict all these guys.
    I think these guys are still in the service of the King.
    I just don’t buy it.

  8. JoeC says:

    Good perceptivity, Xman. I think you’re probably right. When one of Dubya’s own lambasts the administration, my vehemence does passably mitigate (can you tell I’ve got the thesaurus out? Pretty neat, huh?)

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