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Find Your Double to Combat Domestic Spying

Since President Bush took office, the number of Americans being secretly wiretapped has increased dramatically. Honest citizens are having their financial records reviewed by the government, and the society Orwell wrote about in 1984 isn’t just around the corner anymore; it was here yesterday.

Luckily, the world population is quickly approaching 7 billion. Sure, that means food and resources are getting harder to come by, and the environment is shot to hell. But, it also means it should be getting easier to blend in. Why? Because there’s more people that look like you!

Finding Your Double

With 6.8 billion people in the mix, everybody has a twin somewhere.

The French refer to your look-alike as “sosie.” The Germans use the term “doppelganger” which really means sort of an evil twin that causes bad luck when encountered. Americans just shrug their shoulders and use the phrase “separated at birth.”

Joe Mulder

Joe Crubaugh Lately, I’ve been watching a lot of X-Files episodes, and my 2-year-old daughter thinks Mulder is actually Daddy (for those who don’t realize yet that the two pictures here are actually two different people, that’s Mulder (David Duchovny) on the left, and me on the right ;-)) Anyway, I can’t think of any of the spies in Homeland Security that even approach the intelligence of my 2-year-old daughter, so I’m sure they think they’re collecting information and spying on an FBI employee, not moi.

Joe Gilligan

I’ve also been told I look like Bob Denver. Personally, I think being compared to David Duchovny is a lot cooler than being compared to Gilligan, but then I haven’t seen David Duchovny in a white bucket hat, either.

By the way, was Gilligan his first name, or his surname? The world may never know. As for the rest of the castaways, their names were:

Jonas Grumby (the Skipper)
Roy Hinkley (the Professor)
Thurston Howell III (Mr. Howell)
“Lovey” Howell (Mrs. Howell)
Ginger Grant (Ginger)
Mary Ann Summers (Mary Ann)

Joe Cruise

Tom Cruise and Joe Crubaugh More than once, somebody has commented that I sort of look like Tom Cruise in an out-of-the-corner-of-their-eye sort of way, but I’m pretty suspicious it’s just their way of trying to politely tell me I’m short?

(Yeah, the photo is Photoshopped…me and Cruise aren’t really that tight, especially since Suri arrived…)

Joe Elvis

Joe Elvis One good thing to keep in mind: if society really goes Orwellian, and the secret police roll into your neighborhood, just remember that anybody can hide in Las Vegas, baby!

So, who’s your double?

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This entry was posted on Saturday, May 17th, 2008 at 1:27 am and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

10 Responses to “Find Your Double to Combat Domestic Spying”

Xman says:

Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 9:30 am

Funny, Joe.
I think you should also add: Denis leary.
I’ll try to put in a pic… nope, can’t do it, but you can at:

[Note from JoeC: I inserted it here. Hey I think Denis and I must be cousins or something! Gotta get his guy on the phone. Hahaha.]

oh well, just google denis leary and click on “images”. Almost a spittin’ image.

btw, I stopped for a minute under at ski lift at alta utah a few years ago and looked up at those on the lift. There was a guy looking down at me with his mouth open. My jaw dropped too. Obvoiusly stunned, neither of us said a word as we each just stared at each other as he went up the mountain on the lift. I waited right there, thinking he’d recover, come down and we’d have a good freak out. He must have freaked too much, since he never came down.

Reply
Suzan says:

Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 9:46 am

And I’m obviously Mary Ann!

Suzan

Welcome to Pottersville

Reply
JoeC says:

Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 2:27 pm

Suzan…I mean Mary Ann…don’t tell me the Professor has figured out a way to install the Internet on the island! ;-)

Xman: That must be weird when you actually run into your duplicate! I never ran into the guy, but in college I was aware I had a duplicate somewhere on campus for a couple of semesters. I heard stories from several people about him, the most strange one being when my roommate and his date went into a theater, saw my duplicate, and went up and sat down next to him and started talking to him before realizing it wasn’t me. I never ran into him though.

Reply
Dusty says:

Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 3:28 pm

Sweet Jaysus in a thong Joe…I was laughing so hard the dogs left the room. ;)

You do remind me of the Elvis impersonator that married the ball and chain and I in Vegas six plus years ago. I insisted on it..having been married in Vegas 10 years before, I wanted to be able to separate the two moments in my little mind.

Although…he was short and Filipino..but hell, that doesn’t change the fact that your both dead ringers for the allegedly dead man. ;)

Reply
JoeC says:

Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 7:21 pm

Thanks, Dusty. I’ll take that as a compliment ;-) I’m a bit partial to Elvis, being from Tupelo and all. He was a great talent, a tragic case of fame-gone-right-AND-wrong, and an unapologetic butthead at times…and I really don’t mind the unapologetic buttheads as much as I mind the hypocritical buttheads who pretend to be saints. Long live the king!

Reply
jodi says:

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 8:54 am

I don’t think I look like many people, but when I was younger I was told I looked like daryl hanna. I think they were full of it though. I was also told I looked like a young hilary and Lavern. Personally I think I look better than all of them. btw… I have had a crush on Gilligan since kindergarden. I even named a bird after him.

Reply
La Sirena says:

Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 3:19 pm

I had a friend Erica and people were always confusing us for each other. Also, people always think I’m my sister and vice-versa. I always know I’m visiting a place I like when people come up to me and start talking to me ithinking I’m someone else. My record is New Orleans — 6 times in 48 hours.

Anyway… great post, as per usual.

Oh and check out this fun website. You upload a photo of yourself, they search their databases and tell you which celebrities you resemble. Don’t blame me if it’s some complex plot designed by W to get all our faces locked in…. :~) Accordint to this site, I somehow I manage to resemble Angelina Jolie, Joseph Stalin, Alyssa Milano and Ruben Studdard. It’s tons of fun!

http://www.myheritage.com/celebrity-face-recognition

Reply
La Sirena says:

Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 3:22 pm

Agent Mulder,

Upon rereading my comment, I felt compelled to tell everyone that I am not currently drunk, just prone to typos…

Reply
JoeC says:

Wednesday, May 21, 2008 at 3:45 pm

Hey now, that’s pretty fascinating! Christian Slater, Renee Zellweger, and Hal Sparks were in my top matches, but the top matches were only about a 60% match.

I’d aslo lkie to mnetion taht I hvean’t been dninrkig any alolcohic beraveges letaly eehtir ;-)

Reply
Indigobusiness says:

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 at 3:24 pm

That’s a wicked troika: Fox Mulder-Gilligan-Joe Elvis.

Orwellian enough for me already. The Invisible Man just might be my double.

Reply

Find Your Double to Combat Domestic Spying

Finding Your Double

Joe Mulder

Joe Gilligan

Joe Cruise

Joe Elvis

10 Responses to “Find Your Double to Combat Domestic Spying”

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