On the left, Tracy Flick from 1999’s excellent Election. On the right, Hillary Clinton doing her best Tracy Flick impersonation. Click the arrow to watch life imitate art.

All Hillary aside, I thought Election was a great companion film to 1986’s Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. In Ferris, Mathew Broderick plays the high school wise guy who has all the cookies crumble his way 24/7. In Election, he’s the high school teacher who has all his plans and dreams go horribly wrong in every facet of his life.

I’m not sure, but I think Broderick even played up the juxtaposition of these two rolls. In Ferris, he enthusiastically starts the day in the shower with a shampoo mohawk and a Shower Massage microphone. Then, in Election, he goes through identical soap-my-armpit motions, but this time we see the lack of a spark clearly beginning to drag the boy down.

And so it is with Hillary…going through the motions, but the lack of a spark is really starting to drag her down.

After 8 years, America is realizing the big party is over — not because it ever got started, but because BushCo blew our party funds on a bunch of fireworks that turned out to be duds, and the few that weren’t really pissed off the neighbors.

So, here’s a tip, Hillary: After 8 years of watching Bush screw up and then explain his actions as “hard work” — over and over and over — the last thing we want is another special-interest mouthpiece promising more “hard work.” Screw that.

Over the last year and a half, we’ve seen what happens when you elect leaders who promise to work hard. That’s what the Democratic Congress promised if elected, and they did practically squat, except to wipe Bush’s rear end everytime he messed his pants.

No, after the last few years I don’t believe our politicians will ever be capable of righting the ship with hard work. It’s going to take the rest of America to do that. So, maybe instead of electing one person who promises to work hard, the time may be right to elect someone who can inspire the entire country to change, and to hope, and to convince us that it’s worth our time to care again.

Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m convinced one person’s “hard work” can’t dig us out of the deep hole in which BushCo and the neocons and the corporate money men have buried us.

Read More: Hillary Clinton, Tracy Flick, Election

The U.S. Federal Government is manufacturing a large portion of our country’s domestic terror threat.

Yes, it’s a pretty sick accusation. But, just read the real stories behind five years of Homeland Security Alerts. What makes the accusation so sickening is that it’s true.

Because it’s hard to imagine some of the things our public servants have been up to over the past few years, I often employ playground analogies to help wrap my brain around the tricks and treats, so picture this…

Fake Terror: The Playground Analogy

It’s a sunny spring day at school, seesaws and merry-go-rounds, and a campus bustling with healthy, laughing children.

Suddenly, from the corner of the schoolyard, a bully rushes down the sidewalk toward the merry-go-round, raises a loaded AK-47, and yells, “I’m gonna kill every single one of you spoiled rich kids! Praise Allah!”

Luckily, the instant before the bully makes omelets out of spoiled rich kids’ brains, Coach Sam jumps in front of the bully and wrestles the gun away. The bully goes to juvenile prison. Coach Sam gets many pats on the back, and lots of cash to help the school upgrade its security system.

Meet Coach Sam

About a month later, Coach Sam admits that he befriended the bully during the weeks before the attack.

What’s more, he helped get the bully — who had an IQ of 57 — interested in assault rifles by taking him to gun shows.

What’s even more, Coach Sam introduced the highly-impressionable and unstable bully to a priest at a radical mosque, and encouraged the bully to make Allah happy by killing as many spoiled rich classmates as possible.

All those kids on the playground sure are lucky they have Coach Sam to protect them from more bullies. And they’re really lucky that Coach Sam owns a security company, so they got a great discount on all the new security cameras and metal detectors in the halls.

Good ol’ Coach Sam.

The FBI’s Fear Factor

The playground analogy isn’t as far from the truth as most people would like to believe.

With more than 100 task forces exclusively fighting terrorism, our government seems to be creating fear and chasing ghosts instead of finding any terrorists.

Since 9/11, the federal government has — there’s no other way to put this — recruited and nurtured a series of pathetic and hapless jihadists, trying to turn them into suicidal mall bombers. Most of these under-brained terrorist wannabes are incapable of carrying out attacks on their own, and they’re completely unaware that their biggest enablers are actually undercover FBI agents and paid informants…agents who must produce some terrorists by any means possible, or find new careers.

But America is wising up, and she doesn’t appreciate being fooled. And lately America, God bless her, seems to have had enough of this administration’s concocted fear.

Tip of the hat to Reprehensor at www.911Blogger.com for pointing me to the Rolling Stone article links.

Read More: fake terror, terrorists, FBI, homeland security

While President George W. Bush tries to get Congress to give immunity to telecommunications companies who spied on Americans for their government while taking the government’s word that it was ok to do something so evil and that they wouldn’t get in trouble for it, one member of congress has called Dubya’s fearmongering-to-protect-his-partners-in-crime what it is:

Dear Mr. President…

…I, for one, do not intend to back down – not to the terrorists and not to anyone, including a President, who wants Americans to cower in fear.

We are a strong nation. We cannot allow ourselves to be scared into suspending the Constitution. If we do that, we might as well call the terrorists and tell them that they have won.

Sincerely,

Silvestre Reyes
Member of Congress
Chairman, House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence

Tell it like it is, Congressman Reyes.

Read More: Silvestre Reyes, George W. Bush

At the beginning of the year, French diplomat and ICANN board member Jean-Jacques Subrenat invited me to expound upon the trends listed in his post, 2008: What Can We Expect.

In his post, Jean-Jacques speculates what events and trends are likely to take front stage and center in 2008…trends with aftershocks that will shake the world beyond the year.

Among other things, Jean-Jacques’ well-thought list covers the United Nations’ proclamation of 2008 as the International Year of Languages to promote unity in diversity and global understanding.

He also covers the significance of the 2008 U.S. presidential election, tries to make sense of the looming recession, points out global zones of tension, and pays homage to expanding forms of communication which are affecting cultures in even the remotest corners of the world.

Here’s my list…

New York Times Square Ball

On the night of December 31, for the first time ever, a bunch of people stood in New York City’s Times Square and watched a lighted ball drop from a pole.

Call me crazy, but I’m convinced the ball drop thing’s going to catch on big time, for years to come.

What’s that? Oh, that was New York, 1908. Sorry. My bad. Let’s fast forward to 2008…

The Empire Shifts East

People tend to look at empires through polarized geo-stationary lenses. But, while most people think the Fall of Rome put an end to the Roman Empire, some realize the Empire survived; it just shifted west and eventually set up shop in the New World.

Last year, many recognized the beginning of another Empire shift when Halliburton moved headquarters to Dubai.

Ahhhh…Remember when New York was the Empire State? Those were the days, no? Alas, those days are gone.

While the United States is funding many a war-profiteer’s bon-voyage, while Freedom Tower still struggles (after 7 years!) to crawl out of its own basement, while we refuse to chunk a chimp from the Oval Office…Dubai, Shanghai, and Singapore have grown some truly impressive skylines that are pure twilight eye candy.

In 2008, I think more people will realize, for worse AND better, that the Empire is setting sail for a new home.

Blended Families

The death of the traditional, nuclear, one-race family used to be feared. Now it’s beginning to be embraced. Several trends are contributing to the phenomenon: Cross culture marriage. Cross culture adoption. Cross culture remarriage after having children. Cross culture same-sex remarriage with cross culture adopted step children. And, maybe most of all, less fear of change.

Of course, some will no doubt associate the breakdown of the nuclear family with the decline of morality in America. In contrast, I’ve noticed that the rate of lynchings has dramatically declined since the mid twentieth century heyday of the nuclear family. So, I say blend away!

Food Inflation

The USA grows an unimagineable amount of corn, and we eat even more. Think high fructose corn syrup…yes, it’s made from corn. And it’s in your soda, chips, ketchup, hamburger bun, special sauce, and what do you think the cow who provided your all-beef patty ate? LOTSA CORN!

All that corn takes a lot of fertilizer to grow. The fertilizer is made out of oil. It’s spread by tractors with engines that require oil. The trucks that transport the corn from Iowa to the rest of the country use oil. The price of oil has gone up. And smarty-pants George W. Bush is now promoting the switch to use more ethanol — which is made from corn which requires so much oil to produce.

More oil to grow more corn with more of the corn going into your gas tank instead of your love handles. Connect the dots. Your Big Mac Attack is going to cost more in 2008.

Welcome Surprises

In addition to the above trends, there are a few other trends that I’m hoping will reach critical mass and begin to snowball in 2008. How about a drastic decline in the popularity of Corporate broadcast “news”? I put “news” in quotes because so much of it is broadcast brainwashing picked and chosen with far too much priority placed on promoting or censoring ideas instead of imparting information objectively.

And, to end with a really vague prediction, I’ll hazard that advances in ambient intelligence, nanotechnology, and wireless networks will continue to blend together in unpredictable and spectacular ways that will change the daily routines of millions of people.

Read More: trends, 2008, empire, blended families, food inflation

All you need do is look through the money in your pocket to realize that U.S. Presidents before our time had more style.

They wore wigs, top hats, fancy stockings, and impressive moustache-beard-mutton-chop combos.

In contrast, today’s candidates attempt to look like Ken Carson (Barbie’s ex boyfriend) dressed in tiresome 1980’s IBM employee attire, and that includes Hillary, too.

It’s time for that to change, and today, we’re starting with McCain…

Grow Some Hair!

The first makeover recomendation for McCain is to get rid of that white patch of dried combover scalp.

Sure, this is going to drastically reduce the amount of sunlight reflected back into space. Yes, that means it’s going to contribute to global warming. But really, which is worse?

Grow some hair, dude!

Chasing Robert Plant

Some of us need fewer baby steps than others, and I think McCain will feel comfortable wearing hair right off the bat.

I’m also positive McCain is a “more is always better” kind of guy (witness his cheerleading for The Surge in Iraq.)

With those observations in pocket, the logic is irrefutable: McCain could enter his 80s Heavy Metal Hair stage in no time flat.

Toning Down His Rock Star

Eventually, bomb-bomb-bomb-Iran McCain will settle down and enjoy his new locks in a more mature, but still less than one-foot-in-the-grave, rock doo.

I’d suggest he add some shades, too, which will prevent all those candid red-eye and caught-in-mid-blink fan shots.

Now, THIS is the McCain corporate America would love to see exterminate the middle class!

White House Glamour

If fate, uninformed voters, and the crooks at Diebold put McCain in the White House, he should consider throwing caution to the wind on Inauguration Day.

I’d suggest something very up, a little down, and a lot more blond.

This look will serve McCain well through state dinners, gala receptions, and holiday greeting card photos…all the way through his second term when he turns 102.

Coming up…

Stay tuned and watch Hillary’s new moustache turn heads. It’s coming your way on the next episode of…Extreme Candidate Makeover!

Read More: John McCain, makeover, candidates, style