10. Wants to high-tail it to Dubai before his upcoming dirty bomb false flag operation clogs America with radioactive SUVs and riot police.
9. After the 2006 election, Bush told Rove he might be more helpful botching somebody’s Democratic campaign.
8. Wants to finally get his college degree, which he failed to earn while dodging the draft at a parade of colleges between 1969 and 1973.
7. Further convinced the answer to all is WAR, Rove is secretly relocating to New Orlean’s Ninth Ward, refurbishing a gutted house with a surface-to-air rocket launcher, stocking scores of Depleted Uranium warheads, and preparing to launch a preemptive attack against the next tropical storm that threatens to become a hurricane.
6. Needs time off to help produce TV advertisements for the burgeoning Swift Boat Veterans for Unlikely Whoppers and Sanctimonious Hypocrisy group.
5. After blowing the cover of agent Valerie Plame, Rove is entirely swamped with urgent requests to betray more CIA agents with husbands who tell the truth.
4. Rove is unable to continue functioning after discovering that his biological father had another son…that Don Siegelman, the Alabama governor Rove put in prison, is…actually…HIS OWN STEPBROTHER!!! AIGHHHHH!
3. After firing every last attorney in Washington, Rove wants to let somebody else get a shot.
2. Fell prey to Hillary Clinton’s covert operation, RapRove, whose players posed as hip-hop talent scounts and convinced Rove to pursue his non-talent in the music industry.
And the number one reason Karl Rove resigned:
1. After years advising Bush, just got tired of propping up a second-rate boneheaded dictator.
[tags]Karl Rove, Resignation[/tags]