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Popular Mechanics Debunks 12/25 Santa Claus Truthers

In March 2005, Popular Mechanics published an article called Debunking The 9/11 Myths, that denigrated all unofficial 9/11 conspiracy theories while exalting the official 9/11 conspiracy fairy tale.

Since then, the Popular Mechanics article has been thoroughly exposed as hogwash, and Popular Mechanics has loosed its inferior and wanting investigative experts on another growing community of U.S. citizens who hunger for the truth about a different event: What Really Happened on 12/25? :-)

The full article is reprinted below…

Debunking 12/25 Myths

FROM THE MOMENT the first gifts were spotted beneath millions of U.S. Christmas trees on the morning of December 25, the world has asked one simple and compelling question: How could it happen?

Seven months later, not everyone is convinced we know the truth.

Go to Google.com, type in the search phrase “Santa Claus conspiracy” and you’ll get links to thousands of Web sites. It will baffle and surprise most Americans to discover how many of these sites reject the official consensus that nine reindeer flew Santa Claus and a sleigh onto U.S. rooftops in the early hours of 12/25.

Healthy skepticism, it seems, has curdled into paranoia. Wild conspiracy tales are peddled daily on the Internet, talk radio and in other media. Blurry photos, quotes taken out of context and sketchy eyewitness accounts have inspired a slew of elaborate theories:

There was no “red-nosed” reindeer, or there were only eight reindeer. Some claim there were no reindeer at all.
Some U.S. parents actually had advance knowledge that Santa and the elves were determined to break and enter on 12/25, but these parents let it happen on purpose anyway.
The Santa gifts were only one facet of a vast marketing scheme perpetrated by parents with additional help from Toys “R” Us.

(Not surprisingly, this theory’s proponents fail to address why parents would scheme to rid themselves of their own hard-earned cash. “Follow the money,” one PM expert suggested, “and it all goes to the children.” Simply put: there is no motive.)
Perhaps most outlandish of all, some theorize Santa Claus doesn’t even exist. Instead, they say, the immortal magic elf was perpetuated by one or more actors who somehow managed to show up and be photographed at every shopping center in every city in every state almost every single day between Thanksgiving and Christmas!

As outlandish as these claims may sound, they are increasingly accepted abroad and among extremists here in the United States.

The Santa Claus Truth movement

The Santa Claus Truth movement is a very troublesome development in American society. What was once a laudable attempt to encourage the public into critical thinking about Santa Claus has devolved into religious devotion to a Santa Clause conspiracy cult that makes a living peddling nonsense and exploiting ignorance.

Perhaps most troubling of all is the fact that most of these “Truth” cults are increasingly targeting America’s youth.

Of new converts who have, in the past month, rejected the official 12/25 Santa Claus explanation, over 90% were youth under the age of 13. “These are our children, our future,” says an anonymous high-thinking war lemming. “They are being targeted, mostly, by children their age who’ve already succumbed to popular delusions, when critical thinking should make it clear that Santa Claus brought down those presents.”

Let’s take a closer look at some of the most popular 12/25 delusions…

Omniscience of Parents

Many theories espoused by Santa Truth members purpose parental facilitation or complicity in the 12/25 Santa Claus gift event.

These theories, by definition, assume that U.S. parents are competent, all powerful, all seeing entities. But U.S. parents are obviously none of these things. Yet Santa Truth theorists would have us believe a nation full of incompetent parents can be totally competent when it comes to organizing a massive gift event and keeping information about the conspiracy totally sealed shut.

A radical analysis of 12/25 that is ignored by leftists and activists in the Santa Truth movement is the fact that the 12/25 gift event itself illustrated how disorganized, incompetent and weak U.S. parents really are. Surely, if these parents could plan and execute a conspiracy on such a massive scale, they would not fail to provide batteries for the very toys they are purported to have secretly purchased in advance!

Further analysis reveals a high percentage of gift clothes that did not fit intended recipients — in most cases, close relatives. An anonymous, but high-ranking member in the Vice President’s office offered this:

That a caring, loving parent could pull off a secret operation of 12/25 magnitude, and yet fail to acquire the correctly-sized camouflage hunting cap for their small loved one…whom they know intimately and share a trailer and bowling ball with…that’s categorically preposterous beyond my drunk fool turkey imagination.

Summary

There is no better explanation for 12/25 than the official Santa Claus story.

Don’t think for yourself. Don’t open your mind to reason. Don’t check the facts. If it’s broken let your grandkids fix it.

Go back to sleep.

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This entry was posted on Friday, July 27th, 2007 at 12:19 am and is filed under Politics, Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

11 Responses to “Popular Mechanics Debunks 12/25 Santa Claus Truthers”

Reg says:

Friday, July 27, 2007 at 7:59 pm

Must Read: And Then There Was ONE - The Last Holdout: 9/11

This is an important inquiry into the American psyche that has questioned all the lies of the Bush administration ….except one.

CLICK HERE

http://tvnewslies.org/blog/?p=648

Reply
Able Danger says:

Friday, July 27, 2007 at 10:46 pm

Chimneygate:
Fire alone cannot bring down presents and cause the pulverisation of cookies.

Reply
JoeC says:

Friday, July 27, 2007 at 10:57 pm

Able Danger: Don’t forget…there may have been jet fuel in Santa’s pipe :-)

Reg: Thanks for the link. Great article. I think you offered a big clue when you observed that people are starting to question the new things the administration says, but still not question or become upset over past proven lies, along with the pretty clear knowledge that 9/11 was at least a “let it happen” operation.

Could this be, perhaps, as simple as “You never have a second chance to make a first impression?”

It’s just part of the way humans are built: First impressions stick faster than second impressions.

The Bush Administration and the Main Stream Corporate-owned Media know this, so they use it to their full advantage.

They knew that if they could get the idea of “islamic hijackers with boxcutters” out there first, it would be virtually impossible for anybody to replace this first impression with “inside job” no matter how much evidence eventually turned up…it just takes so much energy for people to form a second opinion, that most won’t or can’t expend the energy to really do it.

Same principle was used with Jessica Lynch and Pat Tillman…once they were in the headlines as heroic patriot martyrs, it didn’t matter that the initial stories were found to be patriotic fairy tales…most Americans never learned the truth, which DID eventually get told in both cases.

In the case of 9/11, I think it would take a huge shock associated with the subject to clear the mass “first impression” programming in order to replace it with another “first impression” of the truth — that there is overwhelming evidence of inside complicity. Without some shocking news to remove the first impression, 9/11 will continue to be a murky, avoided subject in the minds of most Americans — not unlike the lone gunman theory of the Kennedy assassination, which even a deathbed confession from E. Howard Hunt explaining how the CIA did it has failed to overcome.

In short, the 9/11 Truth movement needs to quit framing their arguments as reactions to the official story which has already left a first impression seared with the shock of the original event, and start presenting the facts framed as shocking, totally new “News”.

How that can be done, I haven’t figured out yet, but it would need to create a jolt and then supply the relevant information. Maybe one of the 9/11 truth groups could arrange to try to reproduce the melting of a steel beam with a fire fueled by kerosene and office furniture with Paris Hilton strapped to the top…maybe something like that would be enough of a jolt to get the masses to really see and examine the WTC collapses with fresh eyes again…

Reply
Michael’s Blog » Blog Archive » Popular Mechanics Debunks 12/25 Santa Claus Truthers says:

Saturday, July 28, 2007 at 9:05 am

[...] Original article here. [...]

Reply
Indigobusiness says:

Sunday, July 29, 2007 at 12:56 pm

Good points all around. Really love the Chimneygate metaphor :}

Right on, Joe, re: reactionary responses to the official story.

Bickering leads in circles, only constructive argument deserves respect and attention.

Elevate the discussion by steadfastly adhering to the salient dialog, and the issues will reframe themselves.

Reply
JoeC says:

Sunday, July 29, 2007 at 1:48 pm

Good advice, to stick to the salient dialog.

And yet, I can’t help but wonder, if the neocon/9/11 Truth roles were reversed, how Karl Rove would promote the 9/11 Truth Movement. Based on how Rove has previously shoved lies into the MSM headlines, only to have them retracted later on page 16 after the damage is done, I imagine we would see something like this on Fox News: Larry King Claims New York Police Ordered WTC7 Demolished!

Of course there would be absolutely no truth to the headline, but you can bet Larry King would be talking about it, and every cop in New York would be talking about it, and thus, lots of people would be talking about WTC7. And that’s what the perpetrators of 9/11 are counting on…everybody forgetting about the facts that don’t forget the official story. And it’s worked, to a large degree.

Oh, well…I’m marooned alone with these thoughts in a layover in the Charlotte, NC airport. Flight that was supposed to leave at 4:20 has been postponed to 6:20…battery on the laptop is running low…I’m going to have to actually read the old fashioned way…a PAPER BOOK :-) Signing off with my Starbucks in hand…bzzzzzzzzzblip!

Reply
JoeC says:

Sunday, July 29, 2007 at 5:40 pm

Update: Flight delayed even further…I am really going stir crazy now, and really down to the last bit of laptop battery…lots of construction going on here in Charlotte’s airport…I wonder what that big ON/OFF switch in the picture I took below does?!

Apparently bad weather in the Washington area has a bunch of flights backed up. Meanwhile, I’ve been here for 8 hours, and every 5 minutes they broadcast a message to keep strangers out of your bags, and report any suspicious activity to the nearest law enforcement officer, etc., etc., and then every now and then they call out an Arabic name and tell them they have a message at the courtesy phone…boy, I’m beginning to wonder if the Bushco fear mongers have programmed the airport’s announcements for the day :-)

Later…
JoeC

Reply
Indigobusiness says:

Sunday, July 29, 2007 at 9:37 pm

At risk of further exposing my naked idealism, I’d just hammer the notion that to entertain subterfuge, deception, and disinfo is to further entrench it in the social fabric.

I think of the nature of debate when the Constitution was being drafted. Of how, amidst bitter disagreement, there was honorable debate. The cesspool of our current methods slimes us all.

We only see the tawdry conduct of Rove etal, and the absurd enabling by the eggshell walking punditry, because we allow it. We are wagged by it. We have become a laughingstock because of it.

One thing I noticed when living in Latin America, was the stark, unspun nature of the news. We live in a gilded third world.

Reply
JoeC says:

Tuesday, July 31, 2007 at 5:29 am

“I’d just hammer the notion that to entertain subterfuge, deception, and disinfo is to further entrench it in the social fabric.”

You’re right, Indigobusiness…we really need to rise above the deception and disinfo. And I want Walter Cronkite back at the news desk…seriously.

Reply
Indigobusiness says:

Saturday, August 4, 2007 at 12:59 pm

We are the quality of our conduct, we become the product of our folly.

Walter Cronkite hangs out in these parts, he is quite a local hero. They don’t make men like him much anymore. Once I was seated next to some (apparently) old friend’s of his in a restaurant, and overheard a discussion regarding his righteous indignation of Bush’s transgressions. It was interesting, to say the least.

Reply
Indigobusiness says:

Sunday, August 5, 2007 at 7:19 pm

Where’d that apostrophe come from?
I was still agonizing over my butchered edit of my other recent comment.
Now, I notice this…

I should speak in tongues.

Reply

Popular Mechanics Debunks 12/25 Santa Claus Truthers

Debunking 12/25 Myths

The Santa Claus Truth movement

Omniscience of Parents

Summary

11 Responses to “Popular Mechanics Debunks 12/25 Santa Claus Truthers”

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