Dick Cheney the Iraq War Optimist

While Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid correctly maintains that the November elections were a referendum on Bush invading Iraq — over reasons the Prez lied about, no less — and that it’s a good idea to apply a tourniquet and bring the majority of troops home, the Vice President sees things differently…

After the weekly Republican policy lunch on Tuesday, Dick Cheney told the press:

What’s most troubling about Senator Reid’s comments yesterday is his defeatism. Indeed, last week he said the war is already lost. And the timetable legislation that he is now pursuing would guarantee defeat.

Dick Cheney is a Robot!Yep, that Dick Cheney is quite the optimist. His comments yesterday reminded me of some things he said last year, when I got to spend an entire day with Darth Cheney.

Dick Cheney on the RMS Titanic:

The most troubling thing about the Titanic survivors was their defeatism.

If those selfish women and children had been less eager to occupy a lifeboat — if they would have got out and pushed — that luxurious feat of nautical engineering would have made it back to port.

Dick Cheney on the explosion aboard the LZ 129 Hindenburg:

At the time, it was the largest aircraft ever built. Unfortunately, the passengers and crew were all defeatists, which guaranteed loss of the zeppelin.

If I had been the captain, I would not have settled with the ship and crew burning up…I would have told them to blow harder, at the base of the flames.

Dick Cheney on the slow-paced construction of the Empire’s new Death Star:

The lack of faith and rampant defeatism in the stormtroopers is troubling. The new Death Star will be complete and operational on schedule.

Even if the rebels blow it to bits no larger than Bush’s peanut-sized brain, we’ll use a surge of hammers and nails to get back on schedule…the biggest surge of hammers and nails this galaxy has ever seen!

[tags]Dick Cheney, Harry Reid, Iraq War, Titanic, Hindenburg, Death Star[/tags]

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