Comments on: The Politics of Gun Control http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/ A dissident twist of reality... Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:09:59 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: JoeC http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/comment-page-1/#comment-5327 JoeC Thu, 26 Apr 2007 23:53:56 +0000 http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/#comment-5327 What's all this anchovy talk about? That's really weird, because I just introduced my 11-year-old to sardines a few weeks ago (he was asking what they were, so we bought a can...) There's gotta be a dad gene that makes fathers feel pride and joy when their children eat gross foods with them. I'll put sashimi and sucking crawdad heads on the future menu... What’s all this anchovy talk about? That’s really weird, because I just introduced my 11-year-old to sardines a few weeks ago (he was asking what they were, so we bought a can…) There’s gotta be a dad gene that makes fathers feel pride and joy when their children eat gross foods with them. I’ll put sashimi and sucking crawdad heads on the future menu…

]]> By: La Sirena http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/comment-page-1/#comment-5322 La Sirena Thu, 26 Apr 2007 21:30:13 +0000 http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/#comment-5322 I liked your two cents Joe. Well put. Xman -- good story. My dad always got me to eat INTENSE foods. I could quite happily eat anchovy olives like candy all day long. I liked your two cents Joe. Well put.

Xman — good story. My dad always got me to eat INTENSE foods. I could quite happily eat anchovy olives like candy all day long.

]]> By: Xman http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/comment-page-1/#comment-5265 Xman Wed, 25 Apr 2007 14:26:42 +0000 http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/#comment-5265 Good 2 cents Joe. Won't argue with you since initially, I think you are correct. My first thoughts of my daughter were that she was dyed the color of grape juice and had beady little rat eyes. Doesn't mean under that initial rush of feelings of "mystical/wonder afraid to break it, not want to shock it, wow, this is me, look at those little fingers, is that normal?, what a strange but wonderful smell", there wasn't also a very fierce instinct to protect. I just hadn't been tested yet. La Sirena, I think initially it is good we secretly feel we each are the best parent. It keeps us looking out for "unsafe" areas/things. I know in my case my wife had to make the transition from her first "baby" (yep, that's how she put it...about her dog), to our daughter. Dog dander all over hell was no problem for her and it became a real issue when I insisted that we reduce it and other dog born things. She simply didn't get it. But, I have to admit, I just didn't get some of her concerns. I learned to live with them, but still think she was overdoing it. The real hard part was the mother in law, though! Our house was filled with stacks of books/tapes and her shrill alarmist bulk, trumpeting out every bit of alarm and wisdom known to man, real and imagined. On bonding: I can tell you it wasn't long to bond. I think it only took a flicker of imagined recogntion from my daughter. Maybe just a squeeze of my index finger. Maybe it was the time we were driving down the road, her in her car seat...and I looked over and found her looking at me...and as soon as she caught my eye, she made some sort of noise and kicked her feet. I really knew it when she wanted to try anchovies. I put a little pea sized piece in her mouth and she made a face like oatmeal cereal boiling. Her whole face moved/contorted. She looked at me through tear filled questioning eyes and I said "I eat 'em" as I shrugged my shoulders and she made motions and noises for more. That's my girl! I did accidentally leave the dog tied up outside the grocery store a few times and came home alone, but I never did that to my daughter. Good 2 cents Joe.
Won’t argue with you since initially, I think you are correct. My first thoughts of my daughter were that she was dyed the color of grape juice and had beady little rat eyes. Doesn’t mean under that initial rush of feelings of “mystical/wonder afraid to break it, not want to shock it, wow, this is me, look at those little fingers, is that normal?, what a strange but wonderful smell”, there wasn’t also a very fierce instinct to protect. I just hadn’t been tested yet.
La Sirena,
I think initially it is good we secretly feel we each are the best parent. It keeps us looking out for “unsafe” areas/things. I know in my case my wife had to make the transition from her first “baby” (yep, that’s how she put it…about her dog), to our daughter. Dog dander all over hell was no problem for her and it became a real issue when I insisted that we reduce it and other dog born things. She simply didn’t get it. But, I have to admit, I just didn’t get some of her concerns. I learned to live with them, but still think she was overdoing it. The real hard part was the mother in law, though! Our house was filled with stacks of books/tapes and her shrill alarmist bulk, trumpeting out every bit of alarm and wisdom known to man, real and imagined.

On bonding: I can tell you it wasn’t long to bond. I think it only took a flicker of imagined recogntion from my daughter. Maybe just a squeeze of my index finger. Maybe it was the time we were driving down the road, her in her car seat…and I looked over and found her looking at me…and as soon as she caught my eye, she made some sort of noise and kicked her feet. I really knew it when she wanted to try anchovies. I put a little pea sized piece in her mouth and she made a face like oatmeal cereal boiling. Her whole face moved/contorted. She looked at me through tear filled questioning eyes and I said “I eat ‘em” as I shrugged my shoulders and she made motions and noises for more. That’s my girl!
I did accidentally leave the dog tied up outside the grocery store a few times and came home alone, but I never did that to my daughter.

]]> By: JoeC http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/comment-page-1/#comment-5262 JoeC Wed, 25 Apr 2007 13:14:15 +0000 http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/#comment-5262 Ahhhh...feeling a bit better, I ate an entire saltine cracker this morning and it has stayed down for over twenty minutes...I may be in the clear. That was some quick-hitting, nasty virus...yuck! About that motherly bond ;-) Not to lump every mother and father into the same categories, but in general I think mothers bond more on an emotional-feelings level, and fathers bond on a more logical-instructive level, and though they're different types of bonds, they're equally strong in time (I also think mothers bond quicker...right away, while men take longer and tend to have more of an initial "it eats, it poops, is it human?" reaction to babies. But over time, a father's bond can become as strong as a mom's.) So, where a mother cares more about the feelings and nurtures a baby, a father may be less feely, more instructive, but his actions come out of as much love and as much of a bond as the mother's. For instance, if you see a mother bird cuddling her young in a nest, you think, Awwww...they're bonded. And if you saw a father bird kick the bird out of the nest, you initially think, how cruel. And yet, if the father didn't kick the bird out of the nest, it would never learn to fly...that sort of sums up father love to me...the bond is there, it's just more of a "if you love somebody, help them be independent and set them free into the world" type of love, where a mom's love seems more...not clingy, but more "wrap your arms around them and smother them in good feelings" type of love. Anyway, that's my $0.02. Ahhhh…feeling a bit better, I ate an entire saltine cracker this morning and it has stayed down for over twenty minutes…I may be in the clear. That was some quick-hitting, nasty virus…yuck!

About that motherly bond ;-) Not to lump every mother and father into the same categories, but in general I think mothers bond more on an emotional-feelings level, and fathers bond on a more logical-instructive level, and though they’re different types of bonds, they’re equally strong in time (I also think mothers bond quicker…right away, while men take longer and tend to have more of an initial “it eats, it poops, is it human?” reaction to babies. But over time, a father’s bond can become as strong as a mom’s.)

So, where a mother cares more about the feelings and nurtures a baby, a father may be less feely, more instructive, but his actions come out of as much love and as much of a bond as the mother’s. For instance, if you see a mother bird cuddling her young in a nest, you think, Awwww…they’re bonded. And if you saw a father bird kick the bird out of the nest, you initially think, how cruel. And yet, if the father didn’t kick the bird out of the nest, it would never learn to fly…that sort of sums up father love to me…the bond is there, it’s just more of a “if you love somebody, help them be independent and set them free into the world” type of love, where a mom’s love seems more…not clingy, but more “wrap your arms around them and smother them in good feelings” type of love. Anyway, that’s my $0.02.

]]> By: La Sirena http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/comment-page-1/#comment-5236 La Sirena Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:18:49 +0000 http://joecrubaugh.com/blog/2007/04/22/the-politics-of-gun-control/#comment-5236 Joe, I hope you feel better. Eeiiiww... Xman, I've been to family court. Ugghh! I had a client whose kids were placed in foster care -- not fair in that case, in my opinion. I, too, find it disgusting when people treat their children like a possession (or a commodity). I've worked very hard to negotiate with my son's dad outside of court, because I don't think the court should have any say over my family. Since we were never married, we've been afforded this luxury -- also, we both know our son needs both of us. That said, I do secretly believe that I have a stronger attachment to my son because I carried him and gave birth to him, etc. I would not hesitate to blow someone away to protect him. When I think he's in danger or someone's messing with him, my ears ring and I see red. I'm sure it's the same for his dad, so I would never tell him or my son what I secretly know to be true -- my bond is greater. :-) Joe, I hope you feel better. Eeiiiww…

Xman, I’ve been to family court. Ugghh! I had a client whose kids were placed in foster care — not fair in that case, in my opinion.

I, too, find it disgusting when people treat their children like a possession (or a commodity). I’ve worked very hard to negotiate with my son’s dad outside of court, because I don’t think the court should have any say over my family. Since we were never married, we’ve been afforded this luxury — also, we both know our son needs both of us.

That said, I do secretly believe that I have a stronger attachment to my son because I carried him and gave birth to him, etc. I would not hesitate to blow someone away to protect him. When I think he’s in danger or someone’s messing with him, my ears ring and I see red. I’m sure it’s the same for his dad, so I would never tell him or my son what I secretly know to be true — my bond is greater. :-)

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