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The Christmas Song and Mel Torme

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006

The true tale behind The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) is a favorite Christmas story in and of itself.

When you hear the familiar lyrics, you can almost see the composer sinking back into his Barcalounger beside a crackling fire. He might be nursing a cup of heavily-spiked ‘nog after a bellyful of Christmas Eve banquet.

Maybe there’s a smug smile on his face, discounting the excited kiddies running haywire as Santa’s big trip draws near. And of course there’s a fresh flurry of snowflakes beginning to fall outside…

Hard-boiled Christmas Reality

It’s the San Fernando Valley, a sweltering July, 1945. Mel Tormé drives out to Toluca Lake for a work session with his collaborator, Robert Wells.

Mel writes music. Bob writes words. When Mel knocks on Bob’s door, nobody answers.

Mel lets himself in, makes himself at home, sees a writing pad on Bob’s piano. Upon inspection, the pad exhibits a penciled poem in four lines:

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Mel Torme

It’s hard to imagine December before Robert Wells arranged those words in that particular order, but there it is…

Mel finishes reading, and Bob walks into the room—he’s sweating in white tennis shorts and a T-shirt. Mel asks him about the poem. Bob answers,”It was so damn hot today, I thought I’d write something to cool myself off. All I could think of was Christmas and cold weather.”

Still baking in the heat, they both sit at the piano. Mel puts music to the rhyme. They pencil another verse, and a bridge… In less than an hour, a holiday classic is born.

The two call their manager straight away, then motor into Hollywood and perform the song for him. Before long, they play it for Nat King Cole, too. Nat loves it, but it takes a year to get into the studio and record it.

“The rest,” Mel writes in his autobiography, “could be called our financial pleasure.”

Palmy Christmas Futures

Robert Wells went on to create many songs and produce many TV specials for top stars, winning six Emmys in the process.

Mel Torme As for Mr. Tormé, nicknamed “The Velvet Fog” by a radio disc jockey, he wrote over 250 songs on his way to becoming one of the great male singers in the history of jazz.

A man of many talents, Mel acted in dramatic film and television rolls, served as musical advisor and arranger for The Judy Garland Show, hosted his own documentary series, and wrote six books, including a biography of his friend, drummer Buddy Rich.

A Christmas Coda

I think it’s fitting to end this Christmas story with another Christmas story about Mel Tormé, a personal account by TV and animation writer Mark Evanier:

I want to tell you a story…

The scene is Farmer’s Market — the famed tourist mecca of Los Angeles. It’s located but yards from the facility they call, “CBS Television City in Hollywood”…which, of course, is not in Hollywood but at least is very close.

Farmer’s Market is a quaint collection of bungalow stores, produce stalls and little stands where one can buy darn near anything edible one wishes to devour. You buy your pizza slice or sandwich or Chinese food or whatever at one of umpteen counters, then carry it on a tray to an open-air table for consumption.

During the Summer or on weekends, the place is full of families and tourists and Japanese tour groups. But this was a winter weekday, not long before Christmas, and the crowd was mostly older folks, dawdling over coffee and danish. For most of them, it’s a good place to get a donut or a taco, to sit and read the paper.

For me, it’s a good place to get out of the house and grab something to eat. I arrived, headed for my favorite barbecue stand and, en route, noticed that Mel Tormé was seated at one of the tables.

Mel Tormé. My favorite singer. Just sitting there, sipping a cup of coffee, munching on an English Muffin, reading The New York Times. Mel Tormé.

I had never met Mel Tormé. Alas, I still haven’t and now I never will. He looked like he was engrossed in the paper that day so I didn’t stop and say, “Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed all your records.” I wish I had.

Instead, I continued over to the BBQ place, got myself a chicken sandwich and settled down at a table to consume it. I was about halfway through when four Christmas carolers strolled by, singing “Let It Snow,” a cappella.

They were young adults with strong, fine voices and they were all clad in splendid Victorian garb. The Market had hired them (I assume) to stroll about and sing for the diners — a little touch of the holidays.

“Let It Snow” concluded not far from me to polite applause from all within earshot. I waved the leader of the chorale over and directed his attention to Mr. Tormé, seated about twenty yards from me.

“That’s Mel Tormé down there. Do you know who he is?”

The singer was about 25 so it didn’t horrify me that he said, “No.”

I asked, “Do you know ‘The Christmas Song?’”

Again, a “No.”

I said, “That’s the one that starts, ‘Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…’”

“Oh, yes,” the caroler chirped. “Is that what it’s called? ‘The Christmas Song?’”

“That’s the name,” I explained. “And that man wrote it.” The singer thanked me, returned to his group for a brief huddle…and then they strolled down towards Mel Torme. I ditched the rest of my sandwich and followed, a few steps behind. As they reached their quarry, they began singing, “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…” directly to him.

A big smile formed on Mel Tormé’s face — and it wasn’t the only one around. Most of those sitting at nearby tables knew who he was and many seemed aware of the significance of singing that song to him. For those who didn’t, there was a sudden flurry of whispers: “That’s Mel Torme…he wrote that…”

As the choir reached the last chorus or two of the song, Mel got to his feet and made a little gesture that meant, “Let me sing one chorus solo.” The carolers — all still apparently unaware they were in the presence of one of the world’s great singers — looked a bit uncomfortable. I’d bet at least a couple were thinking, “Oh, no…the little fat guy wants to sing.”

But they stopped and the little fat guy started to sing…and, of course, out came this beautiful, melodic, perfectly-on-pitch voice. The look on the face of the singer I’d briefed was amazed at first…then properly impressed.

On Mr. Tormé’s signal, they all joined in on the final lines: “Although it’s been said, many times, many ways…Merry Christmas to you…” Big smiles all around.

And not just from them. I looked and at all the tables surrounding the impromptu performance, I saw huge grins of delight…which segued, as the song ended, into a huge burst of applause. The whole tune only lasted about two minutes but I doubt anyone who was there will ever forget it.

I have witnessed a number of thrilling “show business” moments — those incidents, far and few between, where all the little hairs on your epidermis snap to attention and tingle with joy. Usually, these occur on a screen or stage. I hadn’t expected to experience one next to a falafel stand — but I did.

Tormé thanked the harmonizers for the serenade and one of the women said, “You really wrote that?”

He nodded. “A wonderful songwriter named Bob Wells and I wrote that…and, get this — we did it on the hottest day of the year in July. It was a way to cool down.”

Then the gent I’d briefed said, “You know, you’re not a bad singer.” He actually said that to Mel Tormé.

Mel chuckled. He realized that these four young folks hadn’t the velvet-foggiest notion who he was, above and beyond the fact that he’d worked on that classic carol. “Well,” he said. “I’ve actually made a few records in my day…”

“Really?” the other man asked. “How many?”

Tormé smiled and said, “Ninety.”

Although its been said
Many times, many ways
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to…You!

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Bush Rapes Clean Air Act

Sunday, December 10th, 2006

The Bush administration’s Environmental Protection Agency, in a bid to unprotect the environment, is considering rolling back limits on lead being pumped into our ecosphere.

Clean Air Act arrow Contaminated Air Act

That’s right…the Bush administration thinks it’s a good idea to put lead back in gasoline.

Lead Lowers IQ

Before 1900, the lead level in humans was near zero. Now, you and I eat and breathe more lead than our bodies can get rid of. The extra lead is stored in our blood, organs, bones, and teeth. It damages our kidneys, brain, spinal cord, reproductive system, and causes high blood pressure.

Lead is especially harmful to the developing brains of children, even before birth.

Although the EPA has designated a “safe” level of lead in the blood, multiple international studies comparing blood lead levels to IQ in over 1,300 children, have found no lower safety threshold. There is no safe level of lead in your body.

In the United States, leaded gasoline—a major source of lead, from engine exhaust—was phased out between 1975 and 1986. Since then, blood lead levels have dropped by 90%. Why would anyone want to reverse this trend?

The Incentive to Deregulate Lead Pollution

For years, refineries have lobbied the Bush administration to dump regulations on lead pollution.

Contrary to popular belief, lead doesn’t have to be removed from gasoline to make unleaded fuel.

No, the refineries want to ADD lead to gasoline, because lead boosts the octane rating.

So, if the refineries are allowed to bring back leaded fuel, they can make your 87-octane from a much cheaper grade of gasoline, and probably charge you the same price.

Octane Ratings on a Gas Pump

With Exxon reporting a paltry $10.5 billion in profits last quarter, it’s crystal clear they need more profit (NOT!)

Corporations Talk, Voters Walk

As with most of the Bush administration’s actions, the motives are well-defined once you peel your eyes from the welfare of middle-class citizens and follow the cash being stuffed into pockets in highly-elected places: When rich corporations talk, the voters walk.

Now that it’s clear how fast Bush will dump our children’s health in order to make the oil industry an even larger windfall, let’s hope Big Oil doesn’t discover how to profit from straight-out mutilation and murder, though some would argue that this, too, has already come to pass…

From The Los Angeles Times: It’s still about oil in Iraq.

Further, the Iraq Study Group would commit U.S. troops to Iraq for several more years to, among other duties, provide security for Iraq’s oil infrastructure…All told, the Iraq Study Group has simply made the case for extending the war until foreign oil companies — presumably American ones — have guaranteed legal access to all of Iraq’s oil fields and until they are assured the best legal and financial terms possible.

Screw children. Screw the troops. Screw the voters. The USA has become about making money for oil corporations. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you and your President will get along.

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HDotW Weekend Film Festival: Iraq: The Hidden Story

Saturday, December 9th, 2006

This documentary, presented by British newscaster Jon Snow of Channel 4 News, compares uncensored footage of carnage in Iraq with the more sanitized version that ends up on our living-room TVs.

Because it’s so dangerous for foreign journalists to venture outside the Green Zone, international reporters are increasingly relying on local videographers to bring back the stories from the real streets of Iraq. This documentary follows the experiences of one such local reporter as he goes about capturing the impact of the war from the vantage point of regular everyday Iraqi citizens.

Hard-hitting, sometimes difficult-to-watch truth.

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Prophetic Visions of 9/11

Friday, December 8th, 2006

On March 4, 2001—six months before 9/11—millions of television viewers watched a government plot to crash a hijacked Boeing into the World Trade Center towers.

The Lone Gunmen was an X-Files spinoff featuring three computer-hacking conspiracy geeks. Coincidentally, the pilot episode involved a cabal of terrorists within the US Government who hijacked a plane—taking it over by remote control—and threatening to crash it into the WTC.

In hindsight, it’s more than eerie to watch the towers approaching from the perspective of the cockpit:

For more information about the pilot episode, see this review: Killtown’s Lone Gunmen Review.

“I don’t think anybody could have predicted that…they would try to use an airplane as a missile, a hijacked airplane as a missile.” –National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice (05/17/02)

The present has memories of the future,
So look around and really SEE…

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Gourmet Coffee from a Monkey’s Butt

Thursday, December 7th, 2006

Amasnic Fact Off!!!

Kopi Luwak, the most expensive gourmet coffee in the world, flies out of the butt of a monkey.

Actually, the palm civet, which hand picks and eats the coffee beans, is more closely related to a mongoose than a monkey. Nevertheless, the beans it doesn’t digest are excreted. Then harvesters pick them out of the droppings, wash them off, and…make coffee!

Studies have found that the beans undergo chemical changes in the digestive system of the animal. Supposedly, this makes the coffee less bitter. But, blind tests by professional tasters haven’t been positive.

The end result (pun intended) goes for around $50 a cup, or $300 a pound. Most people agree limited availability and notoriety drives up the price, not taste.

Common Palm Civet

The palm civet lives in the islands of Sumatra, Java, Sulawesi, the Philippines, Vietnam, and some coffee estates in south India.

Read more Amasnic Fact Offs: Amasnic Fact Off Archive.

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