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How to Speak Pentagonese

While you’re employed by the Department of Defense, you will replace words in the left-hand column with words in the right-hand column:

Don’t Say This…		Say This!
Permanent military bases		Enduring military bases
Occupation forces		Liberating coalition forces
Iraqi Freedom fighters		Criminal insurgents
Illegal secret kidnapping		Extraordinary rendition
Torture		Interrogation technique
The US Constitution.		“Just a goddamn piece of paper.” *
Anti-war advocates		Terrorist supporters
Stall the press with more bullshit.		The Pentagon is launching a full investigation.
The President pleads the fifth.		The President refuses to comment on national security matters.
Cheney lied out the front of his face…		Cheney misled…
Get a second opinion		Listen to the extremist ideology of Islamofacist evildoers
Invade another nation.		Defend freedom around the globe.
Civil war		Making progress

*That’s a quote from the President, not the Pentagon. See this article: President Curses US Constitution.

Read More: Iraq, war, bush, cheney, torture, constitution

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This entry was posted on Friday, November 24th, 2006 at 6:13 am and is filed under Politics, Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

17 Responses to “How to Speak Pentagonese”

Berta says:

Friday, November 24, 2006 at 1:48 pm

Hey Joe: Why don’t you start picking on Clinton and his Sex Scandals and many of the other politicians (Republican’s and Democrats) who have done as bad. I truly DO NOT BELIEVE a lot of the crap in print…do you???? Does your Mom and Dad read your blog….boob’s…F…Word…God’s name in vain…even though you ARE quoting…you are responsible for WHAT you publicise on your blog - no matter WHO says it….YOU HAVE A CHOICE! RIGHT! Personally, those words are beneath you….PLANT A SHRUB!

Berta

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Joe says:

Friday, November 24, 2006 at 3:04 pm

Clinton lied and was held accountable and we spent millions and millions of dollars impeaching him, rightly so. But, he’s no longer an elected official.

George Bush has told lies that resulted in war, 3 thousand soldiers dying, 600 thousand Iraq citizens dying, and he has still not been held accountable. Bush currently represents me, and it’s HIS responsibility to bring respect to the office of President, not mine. I will not avoid telling the truth to enable more of his actions.

“To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” –Theodore Roosevelt.

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The Holywriter says:

Friday, November 24, 2006 at 3:36 pm

That’s great man.

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TheDevil says:

Friday, November 24, 2006 at 5:09 pm

There is no comparision between Clinton and Bush. More than half the people in US like Clinton. He is liked everywhere in the world. Bush - less than half the people in US, and less than 10% in the whole world likes him.
The only person worse than W is Cheney.

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Berta says:

Friday, November 24, 2006 at 8:39 pm

Joe: May God Bless you as I see you have “The Devil” writing in now so I will bow out and pray for you. Judge NOT that ye be not judged for with what measure you judge you will be judged! (Words of GOD!)

I am going to stick to Ana Blog as it is very uplifting. Politics is something I care about and continue to pray for but I have a family that deserves my attention and time and family is #1 priority.

May God Bless you!
Berta

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Indigobusiness says:

Saturday, November 25, 2006 at 11:35 am

Note: this comment was removed.

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TheDevil says:

Saturday, November 25, 2006 at 3:37 pm

My apologies if I offended you Berta. But I don’t think I wrote anything offensive. I was just expressing my view, as you were expressing yours. I happen to like and enjoy what Joe is writing. And sorry Joe, I think you may have lost a reader because of “The Devil.”

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Joe says:

Saturday, November 25, 2006 at 8:47 pm

Everybody says you shouldn’t talk about politics and religion, because people are so passionate about both, and most of us are convinced our point of view is right.

But, that’s why I like to talk about those subjects–because people ARE so passionate about them, and every now and then I learn something new and actually flip my point of view on something, and that’s exciting.

So, yada yada yada…put on some thick skin, and let the opinions fly…as far as I’m concerned it’s ok to get a little angry and agree to disagree and I think we can do that without anybody truly wishing bad for any other person here. I appreciate the comments, negative and positive alike, so now that everybody’s kissy kissy and made up, feel free to keep stating your mind :-)

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JoeCs Brother-in-law says:

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 7:08 am

# Indigobusiness Says:
November 25th, 2006 at 11:35 am

Berta needs to get …..

—–
How did you let this jerk’s post about the mother of you wife? A woman who loves you and your family deeply? A woman who gives everything she can to you and your family.

Would you like Ana to read this trash about her grandmother someday? Would you have let a comment like this about your mother stay up?

Please remove this cyber-sloths comment about mine and Jodi’s mother.

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JoeC says:

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 9:32 am

Comment removed. As much as I may not like some of the comments here, I try not to censor anything, because I’m interested in other people’s opinions…no matter how much I disagree with them. Unless they’re advertising links for Canadian pharmacies or Viagra or something…

Speaking of Ana, this is an adult forum and I wouldn’t let her read this until she’s at least school age, by which time I’m sure she will have read and heard much worse stuff at school. Even now, during prime time, she is subject to commercials about erectile disfunction, etc., and even The Bible gets pretty graphic when it comes to sex and murder…when she’s old enough to read The Bible unsupervised, I may let her read my blog unsupervised.

That being said, I apologize if the comment section or blog offends anybody. Most visitors are the type that would watch SNL, 60 Minutes, or The Simpsons. Definitely not appropriate for some audiences, but it has it’s place.

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Jodi says:

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 10:21 pm

Good Grief! I love you both deeply, but you guys need to get over this and leave me out of it.

As far as my political views go… I am far away from both of your extremes. I like my middle ground thank you very much.

Sometimes it is just best to keep your opinions to yourself. Especially when you know that they are going to hurt others.

Much love to you both.

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JoeC says:

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 at 10:57 pm

But the middle is so crowded… :-) Hey, I love you both too. Sometimes it IS better to keep your opinions to yourself…but not here.

(Please indulge me, and when you read this next bit, imagine Humphrey Bogart saying it in a pea-soup fog on some foreign tarmac…)

No, here in this Hard-boiled Dream, people aren’t afraid of revealing themselves by sharing their opinions, no matter how crazy they may sound. It takes thick skin to speak your mind when you know the whole world is about three drinks behind…when things are never so bad they can’t be made worse. But trust me, you’ll feel better if you do. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday you’ll feel better.

So come in, tell all you know; you must take your chances. Be patient and even try to help. It’s useless and hopeless. Still, come back tomorrow and I’ll have another one for you…don’t bother knocking, just come in. It’s heavy, this unsentimental stuff that dreams are made of.

(Thanks Bogey…thanks for that…if it wasn’t so late, it’d be a good night to pop in The Maltese Falcon…)

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Indigobusiness says:

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 12:14 am

Joe- Well, I must’ve said something pretty terrible to be called a cyber-sloth by your brother-in-law. In my defense, I didn’t know the relationship of Berta here, I was merely reacting to a fairly provocative post. I’m not sure what I said, but it must’ve been uncharacteristically nasty and humorless. That, or your brother-in-law doesn’t have much of a sense of humor, or equity. Either way, it wasn’t personal and I’m sorry if it caused problems or hurt feelings.

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Jodi says:

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 6:22 am

Indigo-

It’s okay. My mom is a pretty forgiving person. I am beginning to think that my family just likes to stir up trouble. I don’t see how anyone would be upset over a comment from someone who has never even met them. There is far too much to be worried about in this world.

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JoeC says:

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 6:47 am

Just an addendum to the whole thing: Berta is a wonderful lady, and although she stirred the pot when she came into this den of liberal mutts here a couple of years ago and defended Dubya, about 9 months ago she gave me a copy of a book she’d read and strongly recommended that I read: The Audacity of Hope, by some senator from Illinois! I nearly fell out in the floor. Anyway, it was a good read, and my mom-in-law and I actually agreed on which candidate to vote for this round. It’s a wonderful life, is it not!

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Indigobusiness says:

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 7:51 am

No worries, then.

Merry Christmas

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Xman says:

Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 10:14 am

I think all families must be pretty similar.
I’m the only lefty, but some are middle ground peacemakers. They are really needed because of some very defensive, antagonistic and humorless righties.
I can’t have a conversation in my family without being surrounded by a live O’Reilly or Hannity show questioning my sanity, patriotisim and intellect. They seem to view a discussion as an end of the world event…and some have decided it is an end to our relationship.

Some in my family even think if they listen to a different point of view, it is actually an opening for the Devil to get into their soul.

I object to many conclusions of my family. Usually because they use the non-logic they learned on Fox. So, it is really the process they use to form their opinions rather than their conclusions that are concerning.

I feel like an anthropologist who has stumbled onto a primitive civilization where I have to walk carefully so as not to offend anyone…or their gods. Where to question anything is one of the gravest insults.

Fear seems to rule their world.
Odd sounds, colors, smells, looks, clothing, hair, who you are seen talking too, even the kind of car one drives is cause for suspicion.

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How to Speak Pentagonese

17 Responses to “How to Speak Pentagonese”

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