Ode to Stanislav Petrov
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Ask what Superhero I would like to be
And my brain clock warps to 1983
Stanislav Petrov–pay respect to that name
Because he’s sitting in the Saved-Your-Ass Hall of Fame
On September 26, just before midnight
Something freaky showed up on the commie satellite
The comrades got a whiff of their bunker underwear
When the early warning network showed birds in the air
Five Minuteman arrows rising over their heads
Special D from Montana, buttons blinking red
With no time to conjecture Petrov was taken aback
But he had to give it up or launch a counterattack
One button said START, and it was FUBAR straits
Five thousand missiles pointed at the United States
His legs were like cotton and his hands were numb
Petrov could only wonder how a jack could be so dumb
With a helter-skelter room shouting in his ear
To fire at the Yanks before mushrooms appeared
Petrov took a step back with polar ice in his veins
And we all owe him thanks because we still remain
He wasn’t pink-slipped, and he wasn’t transferred
And he didn’t get a medal, and the freemen never heard
That a screwball computer almost lost the whole jake
And you might think the world would get a clue from this mistake
But the forest of inspection grows leaders that are dense
Seems they want to fight first, screw the world at our expense
It’s a new playground where the kids are philosophic
And the headmaster bully has a punch that’s catastrophic
–Jocee Kipp
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